Monday, January 11, 2016

new year's

What are your new year's resolutions? I am afraid to make any. If I tell myself I'm going to do pilates twice a week it most certainly won't ever happen, so screw it. And life is so complicated... I just give up. God damn it, I resolve to eat more snow cones and sleep in later in 2016.
What do I need to work on? Huh. Lots of things? I need to work on my anxiety, and on relating to other chronic pain sufferers without getting annoyed and frustrated with them. I need to remember to tell my aspie exactly what I need when I need it and not get grumpy and internalize everything because he's not a fucking psychic. I should almost certainly get myself a more viable career, because "loving what I do" is incompatible with $20,000 vet bills.
I need to remember to stand en pointe with all my energy going down through my ankles and out my toes. I should figure out why I am so wretched at landing pirouettes, but boy howdy good luck on that one. I should write more prose because it makes me happy. I need to find the time and money and energy to drive several hours in search of a good pointe shoe fitter who can hook me up with plastic shoes. It would be nice if I could eventually get back to where I was before I took that five month break and destroyed my ballet groove. I did land a double pique turn last night, but it was more of a fluke than anything else. You know you've done something pretty special when your teacher gives you a thumbs up rather than saying anything.
Blah blah blah...

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