Monday, April 16, 2012

you see me rollin' up pops, you step aside

Looks like I am not going to class tonight because I have a stomach flu (dang it! I was really looking forward to going to an extra class this week, too, but now it will have to be my make up class). I still have to get up and be functional enough to drive to the post office, though. Ugh
I don't know why I am writing? Perhaps I am delirious with sickness and have begun to spout random acts of solemn prose. Like a Victorian lady in convalescence. Someone bring me my wicker wheelchair and plaid blanket and I shall recline mournfully in the sun...
Or not.
Tangentially ballet related news: a dude was just killed by a swan. I know, I know. I said it was tangential. People online are saying "What? How could a swan kill a dude?" but these are obviously people who have never met a swan. Swans are not like geese. Swans are like four geese duct-taped together. Big. Strong. And ANGRY at the WORLD. A baby swan (cygnet, which is a cute word, right?) is about the size and shape of a full-grown duck. And a grown-up swan is a massive creature all full of muscle and grim determination to KILL YOU DEAD. I mean, I like swans well enough, don't get me wrong. But they are best treated with a degree of respect. Most birds are fiercely territorial. A hummingbird will attack a human. So will a swan. But when a swan comes at you you STEP ASIDE.
So maybe it's logical that ballerinas and swans are so often connected in the collective consciousness? A ballerina could probably kick a grown man to death, too. But she's far less likely to.


  1. Something about this just makes me giggle.

  2. No kidding about the swans. In one of my other "extracurricular activities," I own a sailboat. Three years ago we started getting swans hanging out at the marina. They're big, mean, and aggressive, especially if there is a nest nearby, which apparently there were several nests near the marina. One day I was taking the boat out into the lake, and hoisting sail, when a big male swan decided my thirty two foot craft was a little too close to the nest for his liking. Initially I was charmed that this guy was gliding after me, when all of a sudden he increased speed and extended his wings, gaining on me and making a nasty hissing noise. My labrador retriever was onboard, and started barking ferociously, and the swan just kept on coming. Since I was still under power, I cranked the motor and got the sam hill away from him.

    When a big bird decides he's going to attack a thirty two foot sailboat, that's one bird with an attitude!

    1. Oh my! Scary! It doesn't seem possible to be freaked out by a big bird, until you have one coming at you!