Monday, April 16, 2012

you see me rollin' up pops, you step aside

Looks like I am not going to class tonight because I have a stomach flu (dang it! I was really looking forward to going to an extra class this week, too, but now it will have to be my make up class). I still have to get up and be functional enough to drive to the post office, though. Ugh
I don't know why I am writing? Perhaps I am delirious with sickness and have begun to spout random acts of solemn prose. Like a Victorian lady in convalescence. Someone bring me my wicker wheelchair and plaid blanket and I shall recline mournfully in the sun...
Or not.
Tangentially ballet related news: a dude was just killed by a swan. I know, I know. I said it was tangential. People online are saying "What? How could a swan kill a dude?" but these are obviously people who have never met a swan. Swans are not like geese. Swans are like four geese duct-taped together. Big. Strong. And ANGRY at the WORLD. A baby swan (cygnet, which is a cute word, right?) is about the size and shape of a full-grown duck. And a grown-up swan is a massive creature all full of muscle and grim determination to KILL YOU DEAD. I mean, I like swans well enough, don't get me wrong. But they are best treated with a degree of respect. Most birds are fiercely territorial. A hummingbird will attack a human. So will a swan. But when a swan comes at you you STEP ASIDE.
So maybe it's logical that ballerinas and swans are so often connected in the collective consciousness? A ballerina could probably kick a grown man to death, too. But she's far less likely to.

4 comments:

  1. Something about this just makes me giggle.

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  2. No kidding about the swans. In one of my other "extracurricular activities," I own a sailboat. Three years ago we started getting swans hanging out at the marina. They're big, mean, and aggressive, especially if there is a nest nearby, which apparently there were several nests near the marina. One day I was taking the boat out into the lake, and hoisting sail, when a big male swan decided my thirty two foot craft was a little too close to the nest for his liking. Initially I was charmed that this guy was gliding after me, when all of a sudden he increased speed and extended his wings, gaining on me and making a nasty hissing noise. My labrador retriever was onboard, and started barking ferociously, and the swan just kept on coming. Since I was still under power, I cranked the motor and got the sam hill away from him.

    When a big bird decides he's going to attack a thirty two foot sailboat, that's one bird with an attitude!

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    Replies
    1. Oh my! Scary! It doesn't seem possible to be freaked out by a big bird, until you have one coming at you!

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