Poof, Puff, Pizazz!

The problem with ballet is familiarization. You stare at tutus and pointe shoes long enough and you slowly start to think of that sort of thing as... well... pretty. It's like when I worked at a fabric store. It wasn't a Jo-Anns type place it was a real fabric store that specialized in bridal, tailoring, and formal wear. And we had racks and cases and binders chock-full of sequined lace, Swarovski crystals, tiaras, tutu netting, etc. All the theaters in town, as well as all the pageant moms (shudder) and ice-skating costumiers shop there. And when I started I was kind of icked out by the bling, but after five years I had fully embraced the glitter and glam and I now paillet far more stuff than I probably should. I like to think I do it tastefully, but it is all relative. Anyway.
So. Ballet.
I was looking through best-and-worst-dressed celebrity lists (don't judge me!) and came across this on one of the latter:

 This is some variety of popular music star? I don't know, I haven't listened to radio outside of a grocery store in YEARS.

And anyway, I kind of liked it? I am not a big-skirt person. I kind of inwardly cringe whenever I attend a wedding with a bride in a giant poofy quinceanera skirt. My own wedding dress had a petticoat but was certainly not so big it forced my husband to stand several feet away from me. But six months of looking at tutus on the internet and I think this is adorable, guys.

 

Famous People Who Were Dancers, Yo

Moira Shearer is kind of a no-brainer. She was

an actual ballerina with the Royal Ballet. But

you already knew that.

Audrey Hepburn. I mean, we all love Audrey anyway,

but isn't that a cool thing to know? I guess she was

in a movie that required dancing at one point, called

The Secret People. Blonde hair in that movie, though. Ick.

Leslie Caron. Known best for An American in Paris,

which I have to admit I have never seen and had only

heard of in a vague way. She co-stars in one of my

favorite movies of all time, though, Father Goose with Cary Grant.

You should watch it.

Brigitte Bardot. I love this photo. She's rockin' some 

serious eye makeup and straight bustin' out a cig in the studio.

For reals, girl, that shit will not help your dancing.

James Dean. Whuuuut? I know, right? Also, forget James for a seond

and check out the dude that is third in the row. What are you doing,

dude? I can see that the teacher has crammed herself in front of him to correct the 

person ahead of him, but that is really no excuse for whatever the

heck this guy is doing.

BONUS MODERN PERSON:

Summer Glau. Which should not surprise you at all if

you have seen Firefly. She straight kicks it with some peasants while

wearing big old boots in one episode. I assumed that was why

she got the job in the first place.

The Red Shoesies Rockin' The House

So I earn my money by making things. But sometimes I get SUPER BORED of making clothes and working with big swathes of fabric and I just want to do something different for a day or two. So I make juggling bags and art dolls and purses and stuff and put them up online. Anyway, enough back story! Here is what I made last week while I was putting off doing real work:

 Vicky Page, guys! With tiny red pointe shoes, guys! Yeah, I know, right?

Shoes, Dudes

$485 at Saks Fifth Avenue. Or, you know, you could just glue a piece of leather to the bottom of a $15 pair of ballet slippers.
You know, whatever.

                                              

Of Pink Satin Slippers

Ballet is extremely tradition-based. Not just the actual dancing part, but everything else as well. The etiquette. The way you address a teacher, the way you end class with a bow and a round of applause (who are we applauding? Our teacher for giving a great class? Our stereo stand-in for a theoretical pianist? Ourselves? Way to go, us! Woo!) and last but not least the way we dress.
Thankfully lycra was invented and we don't have to wear baggy knitted stockings and knee-length dresses to class these days. BUT why wear tights at all? Isn't that a little silly? And the shoes! Now, don't get me wrong, I love the shoes. You all know by now how I feel about the shoes. But why the heck do we insist on wearing pink satin shoes with ribbons? It isn't really all that practical. There are better ways to do these things. Elastic happens, guys. But we still wear pink satin shoes with ribbons. Why, you may ask? Because when ballet really hit its stride as a performance art that is how women dressed. Like, all the time.  Here is what a pair of lady's shoes looked like, circa 1830*:

Remind you of anything?

*the picture of the silk slippers came from this site.

"The Very Mesh of Reality" would be an awesome band name

So we never get out of class without doing chassés and glissades. Even if it means we have to go an extra ten minutes we are going to be doing those chassés and glissades. I am beginning to think they are some sort of universal constant. Like, if we don't do glissades even ONCE then the entire fabric of the universe will tear itself apart. I have done six solid months of glissades and chassés, guys. I don't know about the more advanced classes, but us low-down schmoes are holding the very mesh of reality on our backs, here. It's such a heavy burden!
I assume we do them so freakin' much because they take a lot of practice, but also because they get your business all workin' and suddenly BAM! you are getting a cardiovascular workout whether you wanted one or not. I am certainly seeing my endurance improve if nothing else.
We line up in columns and then glissade across the floor in small groups. In my last class I was seriously booking. Great leaping strides across the floor. "Wow, Rheumatic Princess* is really moving!" says my teacher "She wants to get this excercise over with, am I right?"
YES. You are SO TOTALLY RIGHT.


*that isn't my real name. My beloved parents were crazy, but not that crazy.

Streeeeeetch it Out

Okay, so for the last couple of weeks I haven't been doing daily stretches, just to see how that would work out for me. Because they say you shouldn't be doing them cold, right? So. My final analysis: YUCK. Basically, while I love not having to spend ten minutes on the floor every day (which I always put off, and then put off again, and then suddenly it is midnight) my turn-out is crappier, my extension is crappier, and just trying to stand in fifth is kind of awkward and painful. SO forget that. Seriously. The hip warm up jobby is still awesome, though!