acupuncture... again

When I am at the acupuncturist's office she sticks me with all the appropriate needles and then leaves me to "rest" for half an hour, which basically just means I have to lay as motionlessly as possible, flat on my back (today I also got to wear a fetching hospital gown. Very chic.). The gal I saw today usually leaves a stereo on playing "soothing" music (also known as depressing acoustic guitar solo versions of classical music that was never meant to be played on guitar. Today I got The Dying Swan and it was probably the most bleak rendition of it I have ever heard. Hey, you know what ballet classic sounds awesome when played by solo acoustic guitar? Neither do I.) and asks if I would like the lights turned off. I always say yes because otherwise I will just lay there looking around at stuff and be tempted to try fishing my e-reader out of my purse, because BORING. When she comes back in to un-stick me she asks if I fell asleep. Really? How, precisely, are you supposed to fall asleep when you have pins stuck in your ears? At least it wasn't as awfully painful this time. Last time I felt terribly sick and spent the entire "resting" time feeling restless and achy.
Magic trick, though? My right wrist, which felt terrible this morning, is actually feeling pretty good right now. I know, right? I am not sure I believe it, either.
She poked my toes and tut-tutted at me and said that I have calluses on my big toes because I clench my feet when I walk so I am going to get toe arthritis and die or something. Also, she said my arches were obviously falling. First off: GACK I do not want to hear about my feet disintegrating beneath me! I dance! Ballet, guys! You can't be messing around with toe arthritis if you dance. They pop and creak and stuff, sure they do. But still, don't scare me okay? I dunno. I mostly have calluses on my big toes because I forgot to scrub them really well in the bath last night and I am genetically pre-disposed to having seriously unattractive callusy feet. I don't look like either of my parents (or anyone else in my family for at least a couple of generations back) and am often mistaken for my father's wife when we go out together (even by the post-op nurse at the hospital after he had surgery. Why you think I would marry a dude who is pretty obviously 31 years my senior is another story I guess) but the one thing I inherited from him is my kind of flipper-like feet with long thin toes, each of which calluses over like it's going out of style. But, I suppose I might just pay some more attention to my toe situation for the next couple of weeks, and see if I can catch myself clenching them at all. As for my arches? Considering that I don't have a long and complex history of foot-examination with this lady I am not sure what she is even looking at. It's a foot, honey, I don't know what you are seeing, here. Personally I think my feet have toned up a lot since I have been dancing. I've dropped half a shoe size! I honestly have no idea what that means but I think it's pretty insane.

PS: She poked around at my knees and exclaimed at the amount of inflammation present. SO WHY DON'T YOU TELL MY RHEUMATOLOGIST THAT, KAISER!

Taking the Plunge

A few years ago, back when they discovered that the problem in my hands wasn't carpal tunnel syndrome, they sent me back and forth to half a dozen specialists in an attempt to suss out the culprit. None of them had any real idea what was wrong but one doctor, a hand specialist (the one who finally did the test that determined a predisposition for rheumatic conditions) suggested that I should try acupuncture for the pain. He put through a referral to the acupuncture department for me, but I never followed through with it because A) It looked like we were going to get a real diagnoses soon, B) it's all the freakin' way in another city, and taking the bus to get there (we only have one car) for orientation would be a TWO HOUR trip through unfamiliar territory, and then require a half mile walk. And C) WHATEVER DUDES. I have a pretty low opinion of the pseudo-scientific "chi energy" rigamarole, and don't really want to listen to it.
But, things have changed in the last few years. For one, I hurt a lot more. And also, I don't appear to be getting any actual medical treatment, here. I'm just about at my wit's end, and at this point I would do darn near anything if there was any actual chance it would help me feel better, especially when I'm dancing. So, I looked in to it. There are real honest-and-for-true clinical studies that support the use of acupuncture, though of course no one actually knows why it works. They have theories ranging from triggering immune responses to counter-irritation to just plain old positive thinking. But... you know? At this point? *sigh* I don't even care WHY it works, just so long as it does, you know? And everyone I've talked to that has first-hand experience with it has been 100% sure it did something good for them. Of course, these are also the people who claim that it's painless and that you'll blissfully frolic through the experience with no blood loss. I have a friend who used to be a dogsbody at an acupuncture clinic, and among her grosser chores was cleaning up the large quantities of blood left behind after a session. UCKA. Fellow rheumy and blogger extraordinaire Jenny Lawson's book Let's Pretend This Never Happened contains her own account of acupuncture treatment. She lays it on the line and tells it very much like it is, pain and blood and all. But at this point unless they want to ram the damn pins in to my EYES they are totally welcome to give it a shot. So I'm signed up to take Kaiser's acupuncture orientation class at the end of November, and then we'll see how it shakes out.
Honestly, I am not amazingly happy with the idea because I don't like getting poked with needles, much. And I STILL don't want to listen to anyone regale me with wisdom about my chi. For crying out loud, people, you can't just make up something when you don't understand how it works!
I asked my (deep skeptic of a) husband what he thought about me trying it out and he has been supportive. Not that he's the sort of jerky husband who isn't supportive of most of my decisions or anything (he even lets me smudge the house, so long as he isn't there while I'm burning the sage), but I do so like to not make him think that I'm a crazy person on a regular basis.