Friday, May 25, 2012

HMO: Huge Mutha-effin' Ordeal

I think there is something going on with my knees. No, okay, I mean there is something going on with my knees that is not rheumatism related. I don't know. It's just that my father, bless his heart, was just diagnosed with a ligament injury after being treated FOR TEN YEARS for arthritis in the joint. Though Kaiser had done CT scans in the past that showed the problem, their right hand has never been any good at figuring out what their left hand is doing. So it sat there, mis-diagnosed, for ten years. And now, after additional injury and a damn-near malpractice case he is going to be needing surgery.
What I am saying is that my TOTALLY CRAPPY HMO couldn't figure out that you had a paper cut if you stood in the office sawing at yourself with a business card. They would probably give you vicodin and an antidepressant and tell you it's all in your head.
So, I am not feeling terribly confidant in the sort-of-diagnoses they sort of didn't quite almost give me but not really. They just want to shut you up, so you go home and leave them alone.
ANYWAY. I have made an appointment (it's over a month away, because this is Kaiser we are talking about. Anyone who thinks socialized medicine would result in waiting lists and rationed care has obviously never been to Kaiser in their life). I am drawing schematics (sorry, no, diagrams) and preparing index cards with a speech. I seriously considered bringing my laptop and setting up a PowerPoint presentation: These are my symptoms! Here is a list of common injuries that can cause these symptoms! Here is the standard first-line treatment for these conditions! Here is a long-term prognoses! Take notes! There will be a quiz afterwards!"

I'm also kind of a hypochondriac. But I have been thinking that this might be ligament or tendon related for a few months, now. Ever since I discovered that there is a lump in my knee just to the upper inside edge of my knee cap. It goes THUNK when you touch it.

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