My Day: An Illustrated Guide

Went to the doctor again. I've been there so often that he walks in to the room and says "hey YOU!"
Told him I flunked out of physical therapy. He made me have more X-rays taken. I swear I've been bombarded with enough radiation to mutate my own Godzilla. Didn't have to take all my clothes off, which was awesome. They gave me this bitchin' Tyvek wristband:

Which maybe means I can get in to the beer garden, now?
Then we looked at the images together and he said he didn't know what was wrong with me and referred me back to the rheumatology department. Oh, and he switched me on to a different anti-inflammatory.

That is what I call an excessive use of food coloring.
But, lest you think this day was all bad, these came in the mail today:

My 31st birthday present to myself. I'm taking my mom and our girlfriend out to see our local ballet's Romeo and Juliet in October!
Ignore the storks. I have something like twelve pairs of tiny scissors and they basically blanket every surface in my home.